GG & PES

Can’t seem to get enough of moving images today. I went to the cinema to watch two movies. (Tron Legacy & Twelve) I’m home right now, with Ty and Stef, and I just had to watch the new episode of Gossip Girl. I’ve been waiting so long for it, and hadn’t had time since monday. So I withdrawed myself from their company and bundled up with my lovely laptop to watch episode 12. I’ve been so boring to them today. I just finished, and they’re both occupied now, playing ‘PES’ some random soccer game. They keep yelling and laughing, bumping fists and sniffing amused about moves they make. 

Since i’m bored, I’ll type every word they’re saying.

”keep it closed!” (Ty)
”what?? it’s out.” (Ty)
”Whooow!!” (both)
”Nice one!!” (Stef)
”What the hell is he doing??” (Ty)
*both imitating soccer kick sounds*
”Oohhh I feel one coming!” (Ty)
*both start laughing really hard*
”Corner.” (Ty)
What was that? (Ty)
It was a good one. (Stef)
*comparing themselves to famous soccer players*
Ooohh!! (both)
There goes our chance. (Stef)
3-0 is on its way bro. (Ty)
Still possible, still possible! (Stef)
Yeah! Yeah! No! (Ty)
Penalty!?! (Stef)
Oh well. 2-0 will do I quess. (Ty)
One more game? (Stef)
Deffinitely! (Ty)

Sigh. But I guessed I deserved this. It’s kind of amusing to watch them get into a game like this. I can only get excited about soccergames when Holland gets into the finals at World Champions. Funny how people can get excited like that about a random game in a random livingroom ramdomly at 02:00 AM.

Boys will be boys.

This is war! (Ty)
Messi sucks today. (Stef)
He sure does. (Ty)
Not like it’s really his fault haha.. (Stef)
BOOOOM! (Ty)
Got it!!! (Stef)
Hoppaaaa! (Ty)
Ok, stay sharp.  stay sharp. (Ty)

continues, continues……

I’m going to wash off my mascara, brush my teeth and get into my lovely bed right now. I’ve got a really serious talk tomorrow at school. It prectacly comes down to me being kicked out of school if I keep on not showing my face.
Wish me luck. Wish me motivation. Wish me a magic diploma falling out of the sky without having anything to do with that awefull school..

headaches and dizzyness.

Wow.. hangover.
Gosh we trashed the intire livingroom.
Ty somehow managed to get out of bed and head off to school, and Stef is taking a shower now. The table is filled with empty bottles. glasses, foodleft-overs, playingcards and coloured alcohol stains.

Morning afters are always the best times to stand still with the way youre living your life, and regret a lot. Cause I concider myself a good person, with ambitions and love for pure and simple things. That gets carried away in crazyness now and then. But looking at how i’ve been spending my days the last couple of months, then I can tell you it’s been a ‘bumpy ride’.  Too much bad desicions. 
It might be hypocrite to pick a moment like this, after choosing to get completely wasted, and feeling the headache of it right now,  but I don’t care. 

This minute, I’m choosing to turn it around. 
Make better decisions. 
Stop with alcohol and drugs.
Focuss on real things.
Things that matter, things that last.

I’m going to try be aware of every door 
I open and close, and how it will affect me.

I don’t wanna feel like this anymore.

HAHAHAHA

okay i’m really drunk and stoned.
Me and Tayfun and my roommate got wodka and did a playing game, and i lost the intire time so i sprayed pepperspray and everybody is sneezingh and crying now./

travel on nothing from nowhere to happiness.

After getting breakfast, cleaning up the place and taking a long long shower, I finally feel clean! I must have spend more than an hour in the bathroom. I’m completely washed, scrubbed, shaven, shampoo’d, conditioned, brushed and polished!
And I smell awesome now.

While sitting in the shower cabin ( yes, for some reason I always sit while showering )
I was letting the water clean my body and mind. I was thinking about facts ’bout myself. Things I really love and care about. Things that matter to me the most. And I want to share these things with you.

What i’ve come to realize the last couple of years, is that a lot of things that matter in this world, are such bullshit. It’s not about how much material things you have, how skinny or musculair you are, how well educated you are, or how succesfull or populair you are.

The reality is that the things life already has offered you, are the things you have to grab and be thankful for. Things that are real. Memories of good times with friends.
Like nature. Animals. Laughter. Fruit. Simple and pure things. It’s about how you spend your days, how you treat the people around you. How you focuss on being your true self. How you live and build up your own character. And how you can manage to maintain these simple wonderful things so they will last a lifetime.

It’s a big cliche, I know that. But that’s a shame, cause people never really listen or focuss on things they have already heard hundreds of times. So I’ll picture them for you, so you can see and feel them, without covering your ears.

You don’t need to live in a fancy city, be ‘media-beautiful’, have lots of things and lots of money. My theory to become happy, is to accept yourself so others will love you too, treat people they way you wish to be treated so you’ll create lots of friends, respect the little things of nature, see beauty in them. Be a little crazy, love a lot, and with some creativity, curiousity and openmindedness, your life will be amazing.

I’m not there by far either, but i’ll be working on this ’till I can see myself as my true self, living in full acceptance, respect and love for the world and everything in it.

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

PEACE! (:

*

gotta love chanel.

GOODMORNING

I just woke up. And it’s sort of really late.
Below our appartment (we live on 1st floor) there’s a turkish bakery.
She’s the sweetest woman ever, and she makes great food.
So, lazy as we were, we went downstairs to get breakfast.
I don’t know if you have turkish pizza’s outside of Europe, but they’re awesome. delicious. beautiful. So, we got two, filled with chicken kebab. The only meat I make exeptions for. Cause I think chickens are stupid.
I just finished mine.. but it didn’t taste like chicken. So i’m a bit confused..

But ok, all I really have going on in my mind right now, is getting out of this place, and go outside. The sun is shining brightly, and i’m up for some photographing with my roommate. Probably post pictures later!

nightynight.

It’s hard to stop blogging and facebooking once’s you have acces to a laptop AND internet after not having any for weeks. But since it’s getting late, and i’ve got to get up early tomorrow, AND expecting a phonecall from someone amazing, this will be my last post for the day.

I’m sitting on the couth in my livingroom. Just watched a movie with my roommate, and i’m eating all the leftovers from the lays chips and chocolate we  piled up next to us.

I thought i’d be gaining weight like crazy by eating so badly, but appearantly i’m living in a psycho universe, cause i’m losing weight. While eating letterly everything.

I stopped smoking. That’s why i keep grabbing food.
Or atleast, i’m telling myself I stopped. Which means I only smoke two sigarettes a day now. Sometimes one. Or none. Or 5. It’s still a bit of a rollercoaster really. It comes and goes, my nicotine cravings. Like waves. And some waves are just unavoidable. I can run, and drown in furiousity, or just grab a sigarette and surf it in my pantyho’s.

Yeah, I decided to wear pantyho’s today. I never wear them, cause I somehow always mess them up. But i’m getting better at it! I only made two wholes and one ladder. And I was already indoors by the time it started showing above my boots! I feel like tearing it up completely and wear it again tomorrow. I kind of like messed up pantyho’s.

But, enough about waves and pantyho’s.
My lover of all lovers is on skype atm and i’m going to stop blogging and start staring at his lovely everything. Cause how can I not love to love looking and talking to my love? And describing it without using the word love too much?

*update*

going to bed now. just skyped the intire night and can’t keep my eyes open.

Me, a drawing and Tayfun :)