L again.

Lotte

It suprises me how much I love blogging.

I always have this tornado of thoughts in my head, and writing calmes it down in some way.

I want to apologise for the past and future spelling mistakes we made and will make. We’re not raised speaking english, and had to learn it later in life.
Im trying to learn as many languages as possible. Right now I speak dutch, english, french and a little bit spanish, maroccan and german. In two years I want to be able to spreak fluently spanish, italian, swedish and korean.
I love the look on international people’s faces when they notice I can understand them.
It creates conversations and friendships.

Right now i’m feeling this urge to write down all the stuff I want to do in life, accomplish or learn.
But that would be a long chaotic story from bellydancing to walking on the moon.
Let’s just say, if i’d have things my way, i’d be googlable for the most random things.

Right now, i’m kind of writing to distract myself from my need to contact my loveinterest.
We’re dating two months now, but it’s not something you can describe.

He’s a very complicated 24 year old guy who lives in Amsterdam.
Whenever we’re together, we have a great time. From pillowfights to actual fights.
We laugh, we yell, we watch movies, we go out.

He really gets me off guard.
He’s very intimitading, unpredictable and extremely sexy.

The type of guy who would get mad at you from trying to get him to smile, but at the same time
jump in front of a bullet for you.
His intencity scares me. They way he can play a funny role and can’t snap out of it, and the way he can look
at me with penetrating eyes, asking me if i’m really ok.

I never know how to act.
If i’m playing hard to get, he gets annoyed and tells me to get a grip and just answer his text.
If i’m trying to be sweet, he ignores mine.
Actually, he’s kind of a jerk.
But at the same time really caring and worried.

I never know if i should smack him, or kiss him.

I want to call the guy, but I don’t want the feeling i’ll get when he doesnt answer, and doenst call back.

If someone controlls your emotions easily as that, does that mean youre in love?
I really hope not. That would scare me so badly.

Everything about him scares me, and yet, really attracts me.

This thing might get interesting.