First of all, I’d love to go Marit and thanks for your ode!
I love you a lot and ofcourse I got you out of there.
I’m plotting cruel revenge towards who ever did this to you.

Second, I hate the world today.
Atm everything seems to be heading down.
I had a rough week, dealing with stress, impossibilities and lots of negative thoughts. I woke up 5am this morning.
I went outside, smoked a sigarette, and facebooked a little. It’s 8 'o clock now, and still not fallen back to sleep.
I’m free today, so this sucks. I don’t feel like seeying this day. I want to sleep through it. I’m glad I can hear my roommate walking around the appartment, that means he’ll be at school today. I dont feel like dealing with him right now. We’re in a fight. Or atleast, he’s in a fight with me. He hates the fact that i’m always gone, with friends, or hidden in one of my rooms. I understand, because my abcense isnt what he had in mind when we moved in together. I’m not sure what exactly was in mine when I moved out of my parents place.
What I hoped for was peace and quiet. Being able to do, or don’t, whatever I wanted.
Sleep 3 days, skip school, make my own life heaven or hell. Learn from it.
But I wanted to be in charge of it all.
And I’m not, because he wants to be. I feel claimed, its making me rebel a lot towards him by being a bad friend.


I have to talk to him, but I dont even know where to begin.
I’m keeping quiet right now, I dont want him to know i’m up.
He’ll come to my room, asking me my dayplans, just to confirm to the both of us that those plans shouldnt be my priorities, and that they include me being gone again. I’m tired of it. Tired of a lot of things. I miss the fun we used to have. All I feel like is sleeping now.
I know my depression is heading up again, and I’m still trying to run from it, but one of these days it will catch up with me again. Hopefully I can shake it off within a week.

Some optimistic news:
I want a tattoo. I’ve been wanting one for a long time, but something special, and i just couldnt find the one.
But now I did. I love this!!
The appartment is getting quiet.
I’m gonna wait a little longer te be sure he’s out, before showing my face.
F. asked me to send him links of songs I listen to a lot when i’m home.
I’ll post some here aswell.
Have an awesome 19th of november.  (:




(I made that videoclip a few years ago, haha, it features a young Marit and a young me)