the darkness and silence aren't triggering my sleepyness

So i’m screwed.
it’s halfway the night/morning, and I can’t stop turning in my bed, open eyed, staring around the empty room that used to be my bedroom. I’m at my parents at the moment, cause of a party I have to photograph at that’s closer to their house than mine. I’m sure they’ll be annoyed atm, cause the sound of the keyboard appearantly ticks right through the ceiling into their bedroom, and into their ears. Which keeps them awake. Amazing how well their ears work for 50year olds.

I’m nauseous. have been for a few days. I’m trying to remember something bad I ate, but apart of some turkish food that tasted great but was new to my stomach, I can’t remember anything. I’m sleepy all day, and have sleepingproblems at night, with weird nightmares about demons and the time of the end. I’m a little frightend to go to sleep, because tonight Ty isn’t here to wake me if I have nightmares or wake up scared. I know it sounds childish. It’s just that I feel better around him.

The last couple of days, I have this feeling like something is coming.
Something big. And I don’t know where it comes from.
Everything has been too crazy for me to handle these years, and i’ve grown numb to most of it. Now the dust is setteling around me, and i’m silently waiting for the next drama thing to happen. I’m restless.

I need to find peace and quiet. Shake off the thoughthunders.
I need simplicity and optimism.
Love and plain fun. It’s not good for me to be alone.

By the way, don’t think i’m this messed up and pessimistic all the time, i’m not. It’s just that when I start writing, I automaticly write out al the negativities to clear my head a little.

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Remember us who
Remain to keep
The secret hidden
Now behind the stone
Far away for
None to see
Until the day
The golden light
Shines upon the dawn

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I can’t scream. I’ll wake everyone up.

I can’t go out for a run. I’ll freeze.

I can’t blog any longer. The battery has only 10 minutes left.

I can’t sleep. My mind won’t let me.

I can’t stay awake. I don’t know what i’d do.

I can’t call anyone, I can’t shower, I CAN eat!

I feel my stomach complain. it’s empty, though i’m nauseous.

I do have some sort cravings. for cheese.

I’m getting cheese.

wow, this is my weirdest blog so far.

and what the hell, i wanted to post a random cheese song from youtube as a joke, and found this..!

is it my mood, or is this scary?

i’m smelling cheesenightmares….