Today I don’t no where my mind is gonna end up today I’m comfortably sailin’ away cherishing all that’s okay So I don’t need a council Don’t need the lecture I don’t need the attitude..
So i’m screwed. it’s halfway the night/morning, and I can’t stop turning in my bed, open eyed, staring around the empty room that used to be my bedroom. I’m at my parents at the moment, cause of a party I have to photograph at that’s closer to their house than mine. I’m sure they’ll be annoyed atm, cause the sound of the keyboard appearantly ticks right through the ceiling into their bedroom, and into their ears. Which keeps them awake. Amazing how well their ears work for 50year olds.
I’m nauseous. have been for a few days. I’m trying to remember something bad I ate, but apart of some turkish food that tasted great but was new to my stomach, I can’t remember anything. I’m sleepy all day, and have sleepingproblems at night, with weird nightmares about demons and the time of the end. I’m a little frightend to go to sleep, because tonight Ty isn’t here to wake me if I have nightmares or wake up scared. I know it sounds childish. It’s just that I feel better around him.
The last couple of days, I have this feeling like something is coming. Something big. And I don’t know where it comes from. Everything has been too crazy for me to handle these years, and i’ve grown numb to most of it. Now the dust is setteling around me, and i’m silently waiting for the next drama thing to happen. I’m restless.
I need to find peace and quiet. Shake off the thoughthunders. I need simplicity and optimism. Love and plain fun. It’s not good for me to be alone.
By the way, don’t think i’m this messed up and pessimistic all the time, i’m not. It’s just that when I start writing, I automaticly write out al the negativities to clear my head a little.
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Remember us who Remain to keep The secret hidden Now behind the stone Far away for None to see Until the day The golden light Shines upon the dawn
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I can’t scream. I’ll wake everyone up.
I can’t go out for a run. I’ll freeze.
I can’t blog any longer. The battery has only 10 minutes left.
I can’t sleep. My mind won’t let me.
I can’t stay awake. I don’t know what i’d do.
I can’t call anyone, I can’t shower, I CAN eat!
I feel my stomach complain. it’s empty, though i’m nauseous.
I do have some sort cravings. for cheese.
I’m getting cheese.
wow, this is my weirdest blog so far.
and what the hell, i wanted to post a random cheese song from youtube as a joke, and found this..!
I have so much to do before sleeping I’m sitting in a puddle of little girl little love little do you remember when you were too scared to move the monsters in your mind could almost beat out daddy by your side tracing circles on the sheets and invisible claws underneath i’m so full of little girl little love oh so full of nightmares and memories of hairbows and shadowed screams bitter baby find the traces of truer fantasies patterned with ties and laces oh how your form softened before you knew what they wanted how your eyes sharpened and greyed while he chiseled away her lossless faith oh i’m so full so very full
The power to succeed or fail is yours alone. You alone have the responsibility to shape your life. Nothing an no one can deny you greatness once you understand this. There’s no one to stop you but yourself. No one can cheat you out of ultimate succes but you. More powerfull then all the success slogans ever written, is the realisation that everyone has but one boss. That boss is you. Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success.
