Rollercoaster

I sort of quit smoking.

I had one cigarette in the last 5 days.
I’m really agressive, emotional, hyperactive, i keep pinching myself, laughing hysterically, throwing around things in anger, and i’m scaring everyone away.
my boyfriend dumped me at my parents place yesterday so they could deal with me. and my parents are driving me to my own appartment in rotterdam now, cause they want me and my fits gone. i feel so loved!
and i feel like i have the tourettes syndrome, that my smoking has covered up all this time. i feel like shouting something every few minutes.
i really have to try to relax.

 

Already freaking out...

Today is the day that I want to get things right in my life again..
I'm going to undergo some changes that hopefuly will benefit my life in a positive way..

First thing is quit smoking.. cause it's getting to *a shocking* 1 to 2 packages a day..



08:20 I'm in the lesson right now and normally at this time I would have smoked about 3 or 4 cigarettes already... Really miss the first cigarette to start the morning with... :(
Now, I'm sitting here with my mouth full of chewing gum..

10:57 Just had the first break.. I stayed inside the school, just talking with friends and eating.. It's not that I miss it a lot already, can't say that yet, but it' more that it was a habbit that went almost automatically and now I just have to change that, I guess..

Fortunately my friends Ella & Nienke are joining with quiting, that makes it somewhat easier :)


Me


No more smoking...

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