My label!

travel on nothing from nowhere to happiness.

After getting breakfast, cleaning up the place and taking a long long shower, I finally feel clean! I must have spend more than an hour in the bathroom. I’m completely washed, scrubbed, shaven, shampoo’d, conditioned, brushed and polished!
And I smell awesome now.

While sitting in the shower cabin ( yes, for some reason I always sit while showering )
I was letting the water clean my body and mind. I was thinking about facts ’bout myself. Things I really love and care about. Things that matter to me the most. And I want to share these things with you.

What i’ve come to realize the last couple of years, is that a lot of things that matter in this world, are such bullshit. It’s not about how much material things you have, how skinny or musculair you are, how well educated you are, or how succesfull or populair you are.

The reality is that the things life already has offered you, are the things you have to grab and be thankful for. Things that are real. Memories of good times with friends.
Like nature. Animals. Laughter. Fruit. Simple and pure things. It’s about how you spend your days, how you treat the people around you. How you focuss on being your true self. How you live and build up your own character. And how you can manage to maintain these simple wonderful things so they will last a lifetime.

It’s a big cliche, I know that. But that’s a shame, cause people never really listen or focuss on things they have already heard hundreds of times. So I’ll picture them for you, so you can see and feel them, without covering your ears.

You don’t need to live in a fancy city, be ‘media-beautiful’, have lots of things and lots of money. My theory to become happy, is to accept yourself so others will love you too, treat people they way you wish to be treated so you’ll create lots of friends, respect the little things of nature, see beauty in them. Be a little crazy, love a lot, and with some creativity, curiousity and openmindedness, your life will be amazing.

I’m not there by far either, but i’ll be working on this ’till I can see myself as my true self, living in full acceptance, respect and love for the world and everything in it.

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

PEACE! (:

the darkness and silence aren't triggering my sleepyness

So i’m screwed.
it’s halfway the night/morning, and I can’t stop turning in my bed, open eyed, staring around the empty room that used to be my bedroom. I’m at my parents at the moment, cause of a party I have to photograph at that’s closer to their house than mine. I’m sure they’ll be annoyed atm, cause the sound of the keyboard appearantly ticks right through the ceiling into their bedroom, and into their ears. Which keeps them awake. Amazing how well their ears work for 50year olds.

I’m nauseous. have been for a few days. I’m trying to remember something bad I ate, but apart of some turkish food that tasted great but was new to my stomach, I can’t remember anything. I’m sleepy all day, and have sleepingproblems at night, with weird nightmares about demons and the time of the end. I’m a little frightend to go to sleep, because tonight Ty isn’t here to wake me if I have nightmares or wake up scared. I know it sounds childish. It’s just that I feel better around him.

The last couple of days, I have this feeling like something is coming.
Something big. And I don’t know where it comes from.
Everything has been too crazy for me to handle these years, and i’ve grown numb to most of it. Now the dust is setteling around me, and i’m silently waiting for the next drama thing to happen. I’m restless.

I need to find peace and quiet. Shake off the thoughthunders.
I need simplicity and optimism.
Love and plain fun. It’s not good for me to be alone.

By the way, don’t think i’m this messed up and pessimistic all the time, i’m not. It’s just that when I start writing, I automaticly write out al the negativities to clear my head a little.

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Remember us who
Remain to keep
The secret hidden
Now behind the stone
Far away for
None to see
Until the day
The golden light
Shines upon the dawn

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I can’t scream. I’ll wake everyone up.

I can’t go out for a run. I’ll freeze.

I can’t blog any longer. The battery has only 10 minutes left.

I can’t sleep. My mind won’t let me.

I can’t stay awake. I don’t know what i’d do.

I can’t call anyone, I can’t shower, I CAN eat!

I feel my stomach complain. it’s empty, though i’m nauseous.

I do have some sort cravings. for cheese.

I’m getting cheese.

wow, this is my weirdest blog so far.

and what the hell, i wanted to post a random cheese song from youtube as a joke, and found this..!

is it my mood, or is this scary?

i’m smelling cheesenightmares….