woensdag 10 november 2010


It’s 22:00 and i feel like i just woke up, to be ready for the day. Which kind of already ended.
My sleeping rythm is so distorted. If i’m smart, i’d clean up, prepare my things for tomorrow, and go to bed to wake up earlier than noon. But every bone in my body wants to get out of this appartment and go for a ride with who ever to where ever. Especially now that I called him after all. And he didnt answer or called me back.
I feel claustrofobic by my walls. I don’t want to sit here, feeling wide awake, and torture myself with an empty room and my negative thoughts about situations.

Going out is bad because:
* it’s raining.
* i’ll be home real late again.
* I’d have to shower and dress up first, and its already ten oclock. on a wednesday.
* I have to get up early.
Going out is good because:
* I’ll get my mind off of mister manly man.
* I’m out of cigarettes and Charlie has plenty
* He wants to teach me how to drive his crappy old car, which should be fun
I’ll get over myself and just stay in.
This would be taking advantage of him. Though I know he wouldn’t even care.
I’m gonna let him ride the night alone this time, and try to do good.
SO, the plan will be:
Cleaning out the rooms, take a long shower, drink tea and stuff to calm and tire me down.
And sleeeep.
Wish me luck.

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